My jaded baby!

So, sweet little Mimi is on Winter break. I normally love foreign art house movies which are usually ridiculously sad. But, I have totally loved watching Disney-style movies with Miya.

Tonight, we watched Fish Tales with the ever cute Billy Zane. He plays an Oxford professor who is widowed with a teenage daughter. While doing research on an island in Greece, they encounter a beautiful siren. He falls in love with this mermaid. Yadi yadi yada, she loses her tail, becomes a human, and she and Billy Zane become the best looking couple ever.

In the final scene the couple looks into each other's eyes as the credits roll. My sweet Miya mutters, "But they are soon going to be mad at each other...everyone fights!"

Oh golly! My jaded baby! What have we done?!

Supercool Parents

I learned today that the award winning actor, Chris Cooper, had a premature baby years ago. Due to his prematurity, Jesse had cerebral palsy, was a quadrapelegic, and could not speak. He lived till he was 17 years old. Jesse experienced ridicule and was told he did not belong in many situations. His mother, Marianne Leone fought the New York Public School system to give him his educational rights. Despite his handicaps, Jesse enjoyed life. He loved surfing, was on the honor roll, and wrote poetry.

According to Marianne Leone, “People refer to him as a burden, but we never saw him that way. He was a joy to us, and a teacher. The feeling of loss never goes away.” She wrote a painful memoir, "Knowing Jesse".

I cannot help but think of Miles, he was expected to develop severe handicaps due to his prematurity. We planned on loving Miles and cherishing him unconditionally. During his one month of life, we loved him wholeheartedly.  I adore these parents for showing Jesse unconditional love.

Competitive Mom

Today, Matt and I took Miya for gifted and talented testing. We went to a local elementary school for the test at 9:00 am. I could tell that the parents were uptight about the test. They were asking the assistant principal many questions about the exam. I was thinking, "take a chill pill, these kids are only four years old."

My ugly competitive head emerged when Miya came out first from the exam. She finished first...what does that mean? The examiner is not allowed to tell us how the exam went or how she did. We find out the results in May. On the way home, I started asking Miya questions such as, "Was it difficult? What did she ask you? Was it hard for you? Why did you finish early?" Miya, my little comedian, responded with wacky answers that gave me no information.

After thinking about it, I was ashamed of my competitive behavior. I am grateful for my daughter, no matter how she does in the exam, she is a gem to me. Taking my son, Miles, to a gifted and talented exam may not have been a possibility if he survived. Due to his prematurity, there was a large possibility that he could have developed cerebral palsy. We love our children, no matter what label is put on them. We just want them to be safe and happy.

Don't be fooled by happy facebook pictures

I took this picture before I went on the "It's a small world ride" at  Disneyland. My first time on that on that ride, I was 6 years old. A few days ago, I went on that ride again with my husband, Miya, and sweet in laws.

I got on that ride and I missed my son. We have a great family and do cool things together. He missed out on that life. We also missed out on giving him the life we are giving Miya.

So, don't be fooled by my facebook pics! I was crying my eyes out a few moments later. But I only post the good pictures.