It's been a long time!

So I renewed my webpage domain name. So I am back. Here are the kids. We left Astoria and live the suburban life in Rutherford, NJ. I must say that the children enjoy it. I actually think they would be happy anywhere! I promise you that I will never pretend that life is perfect! I'll be back soon! So this is what you get when you get a pot and mix Nigerian, Scottish, Trinidadian, and American together! Super cute.

My life as an educator

I have been posting about life issues on this blog. But now, I want to share about my career. I have been a classroom teacher for 9 years. I have had so many rich experiences in the classroom. For the past 3 years, I have taught in the Bronx, in a high needs school. The neighborhood in the Bronx is one of the poorest in the United States. There is a high prostitution rate in the neighborhood. Many early mornings, I have seen prostitutes looking for  clients outside outside our school building.

I have learned so much teaching in their neighborhood. The challenge has made me a stronger and more creative teacher.

It is now time for a new chapter in my life. I am about to finish a program at Hunter College that will allow me to be a principal and superintendent. As much as I love teaching, I am excited about doing something new in education

There will be many changes in education in the upcoming years as attention is turning on teachers and how children learn. It is a big political issue. I sincerely hope the best decisions are made in the best interest of children.

I feed my baby formula

I was bottle feeding my baby in Starbucks and a La Leche League member asked me if I breastfeed. First of all, it is highly personal to talk about my breasts. But sadly I felt the need to defend myself and explain to her why nursing did not work out with Miller.  He was not gaining even at his 3rd week visit on solely breast milk. Yes I paid a Lactation Consultant $250 to come to my house and used a supplemental feeder. Yes, I rented a hospital grade pump for $200. I went to the vitamin shoppe and bought $150 worth of herbs to increase my milk supply.

I tried hard to breastfeed Miller...I had so much milk 6 years ago for Miya. I also pumped loads of milk for Miles in the NICU which he did not get to use. But it did not work with Miller. The bottom line is that I wanted my baby to thrive, once he was on formula, he started gaining weight.

The model, Gisele, said it should a law that women breastfeed for 6 months. She said she does not understand why women would want to put liquid chemical down their babies throats!


When I bottlefeed/formula feed my baby, he looks into my eyes and smiles. The reason for this entry is to help women who feel guilt for not being able to successfully breastfeed. Look into your baby's eyes, push away the guilt and know that you will always do your best for him or her.

Someone Special

It has been a while since I posted last. I have been busy. I had a baby boy in November. He is now 8 weeks old. What a year! I had Miles, lost him a month later in the NICU.  Three months later, I got pregnant with Miller. There are so many simple things that I am loving right now.

1. To be able to see his face all the time (half of Miles' face was covered by a breathing tube and tape)
2. To be able to carry him whenever I want. ( I only carried Miles once in one month because he had surgery and was recovering)
3. To be able to take him on walks around the neighborhood (Miles never left the hospital).

I am overwhelmed with gratitude for this little baby. When I left the funeral home last year, I really felt hopeless and dark about my future. Now things feel different. Someone special was taken from me but I received another special someone in return.

Happy Birthday

Today is October 2nd. One year ago today, my son Miles was born at 25 weeks gestation. He weighed 1 lb 7 and survived for a month. I have been anticipating this day for a while. It was a day full of traumatic memories for all of us.

The three of us went to Socrates Park and released balloons in his memory. This little outing brought us all closer. We went home somewhat lighter and happier...and full of hope.

7 months!

I have been waiting to post this. I am 7 months pregnant with our third child.  We are expecting a little boy at the end of November.
We are super-excited, but it has been a nerve-wracking pregnancy. Nothing has been wrong physically, but my emotions have been raw.  I have made many freak-out trips to the hospital. On numerous occasions, my ob has said, "Oh, you're a pain in my ass!".... He is the French-New Yorker, celebrity ob/gyn, Jacques Moritz. Just what I need!

Our second child, Miles, was born during my 6th month of pregnancy and we lost him in the NICU a month later. On October 2nd, he would have turned one. Because the doctors are not sure what exactly went wrong with that pregnancy, every single precaution has been taken with this pregnancy.
Mentally, it has been difficult to separate this pregnancy from the last one. Thankfully, this pregnancy is very different.

Sad day in Brooklyn

I have been watching the news horrified at the news of a young boy, Leiby Kletzky,  in Brooklyn. He was murdered and dismembered not far from his home. It happened in a close-knit Jewish community.

The boy went home by himself for the first time and was supposed to meet his mother half way. It was supposed to be a dry run of him walking home halfway. It is obvious that his parents thought deeply about this, but it went so wrong. He got lost and asked a stranger for directions. The man, Levi Aron, took the opportunity and snatched him.

This validates my theory, it is okay to be an overly-protective parent...no matter what others are doing around you. I will continue to follow my instincts. Most of the time, awful things like this do not happen. But when they do, the consequences are devastating.

The parents are not to blame, I know they feel so sick. My heart goes out to them.