The story of Beau Biden's death has deeply troubled me today. Not for political reasons but due to its sadness. Life can be so inconsistent. In one lifetime, a person can experience so much pain and loss...and another person can experience none. The losses I have experienced from young age to adulthood make me bitter.  I have to remind myself of what I have here and now...which is so much. I am lucky despite my personal grief.

I know that we take life for granted in this day and age. It is expected that children outlive their parents. Usually that is the case. We live in a great time. But cancer reminds us that nothing is guaranteed, despite all the advances we make.

National Siblings Day

I never knew this day existed till people started posting pictures of their siblings on Facebook. I therefore posted a picture of  my sister and I standing with our father in Trinidad a few years before he died. After posting the picture, I realized that it was quite unfair to not to mention my other 11 or 12 siblings.

My father was a an incredibly handsome man who had many children with many women from different parts of the world. I have not met all of my siblings, but many of us are connected on Facebook. They all seem like interesting, all attractive, but deeply affected (by this man who left messes all over the world.) I think this would have happened to Don Draper if he were a real person. 

I created a collage of some of the siblings that I do know. I am proud to be related to all of them. And I hope we can meet each other soon.

It's been a long time!

So I renewed my webpage domain name. So I am back. Here are the kids. We left Astoria and live the suburban life in Rutherford, NJ. I must say that the children enjoy it. I actually think they would be happy anywhere! I promise you that I will never pretend that life is perfect! I'll be back soon! So this is what you get when you get a pot and mix Nigerian, Scottish, Trinidadian, and American together! Super cute.

My life as an educator

I have been posting about life issues on this blog. But now, I want to share about my career. I have been a classroom teacher for 9 years. I have had so many rich experiences in the classroom. For the past 3 years, I have taught in the Bronx, in a high needs school. The neighborhood in the Bronx is one of the poorest in the United States. There is a high prostitution rate in the neighborhood. Many early mornings, I have seen prostitutes looking for  clients outside outside our school building.

I have learned so much teaching in their neighborhood. The challenge has made me a stronger and more creative teacher.

It is now time for a new chapter in my life. I am about to finish a program at Hunter College that will allow me to be a principal and superintendent. As much as I love teaching, I am excited about doing something new in education

There will be many changes in education in the upcoming years as attention is turning on teachers and how children learn. It is a big political issue. I sincerely hope the best decisions are made in the best interest of children.

I feed my baby formula

I was bottle feeding my baby in Starbucks and a La Leche League member asked me if I breastfeed. First of all, it is highly personal to talk about my breasts. But sadly I felt the need to defend myself and explain to her why nursing did not work out with Miller.  He was not gaining even at his 3rd week visit on solely breast milk. Yes I paid a Lactation Consultant $250 to come to my house and used a supplemental feeder. Yes, I rented a hospital grade pump for $200. I went to the vitamin shoppe and bought $150 worth of herbs to increase my milk supply.

I tried hard to breastfeed Miller...I had so much milk 6 years ago for Miya. I also pumped loads of milk for Miles in the NICU which he did not get to use. But it did not work with Miller. The bottom line is that I wanted my baby to thrive, once he was on formula, he started gaining weight.

The model, Gisele, said it should a law that women breastfeed for 6 months. She said she does not understand why women would want to put liquid chemical down their babies throats!


When I bottlefeed/formula feed my baby, he looks into my eyes and smiles. The reason for this entry is to help women who feel guilt for not being able to successfully breastfeed. Look into your baby's eyes, push away the guilt and know that you will always do your best for him or her.

Someone Special

It has been a while since I posted last. I have been busy. I had a baby boy in November. He is now 8 weeks old. What a year! I had Miles, lost him a month later in the NICU.  Three months later, I got pregnant with Miller. There are so many simple things that I am loving right now.

1. To be able to see his face all the time (half of Miles' face was covered by a breathing tube and tape)
2. To be able to carry him whenever I want. ( I only carried Miles once in one month because he had surgery and was recovering)
3. To be able to take him on walks around the neighborhood (Miles never left the hospital).

I am overwhelmed with gratitude for this little baby. When I left the funeral home last year, I really felt hopeless and dark about my future. Now things feel different. Someone special was taken from me but I received another special someone in return.

Happy Birthday

Today is October 2nd. One year ago today, my son Miles was born at 25 weeks gestation. He weighed 1 lb 7 and survived for a month. I have been anticipating this day for a while. It was a day full of traumatic memories for all of us.

The three of us went to Socrates Park and released balloons in his memory. This little outing brought us all closer. We went home somewhat lighter and happier...and full of hope.