Strong Black Babies

I had an opportunity to give a speech as a councilwoman to my town during a Black Lives Matter protest. There were 1500 people there...making me love my town so much more. In my speech, I provided stats about institutional racism. I mentioned that black babies are two times more likely to die than white babies even through black people are only 13% of the population in the United States. 

I began to think about my baby, Miles, who died in the NICU. Miles died after one month in the NICU. I remember being told, "don't worry, black babies generally do better in the NICU". It took me 9 years to realize the dangerous bias in that comment. There are now many articles discussing how problematic that belief is. In the world of the NICU, black babies generally do better than white. But I wonder if black babies do better because there are more of them in the NICU. Black mothers in America have a higher risk of going into preterm labor, so of course there are more black babies in the NICU.  In my NICU support group, many of us were black. White boys in the NICU are called wimpy white boys and research is showing that it leads to them getting higher quality care. 

When Miles was in the NICU, I remember being upset with how a nurse handled him. I remember her not being very careful and I saw him wincing. I met with the hospital administration and discussed my concerns and they assured me that the nurse cared about Miles. I am not implying that Miles was not cared for in the NICU because he was, the nurses showed so much love and concern the entire time and cried with Matt and I as we cried over his body after he died. Nevertheless, while I was at the NICU, two babies died, Miles (after a month) and a black girl, who died after seven weeks of life.

Some research for you

How Racism May Cause Black Mothers To Suffer The Death Of Their Infants

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2017/12/20/570777510/how-racism-may-cause-black-mothers-to-suffer-the-death-of-their-infants

Racism in the NICU is hurting black infants

https://www.babycenter.com/0_racism-in-the-nicu-is-hurting-black-infants_40005972.bc

A much higher standard

So, it’s January 2020 and I’m reading many articles about Meghan Markle and Harry Windsor. It is apparent that she was vilified by the British Press for things Kate Middleton was praised for. Many are calling it racism. As a black woman with many ambitions in life, I do worry that I will be called to a higher standard than my white counterparts. It concerns me now, as a woman in my 40s aiming to continue to forge forward in my career. Can I still be myself, have my own unique sense of style, and my offbeat sense of humor? I hope so...I literally cannot be anything else!

I was so moved a couple of years ago by the royal wedding between a biracial American woman and an English prince. Nevertheless, the crown could not protect her from the prejudice that exists in this world. But, all we can do is keep moving forward, just like she has to! One day, all our efforts will pay off!

Racially Ambigious

So, I have racially ambiguous children. That means that people are just not sure what race they are. My son especially, has been called Greek, Puerto Rican, and Middle Eastern. 

This election has been emotionally eye-opening to me. As humans, our gut reaction is to be uncomfortable, or feel threatened around those who are different to us. Some people see this election as freedom to give in to that gut reaction.

What does that mean for my son, who looks like different races depending on the day or his audience? Can I protect him if he is in the wrong place at the wrong time?

We have to remember that elections are not popularity contests, like class president in high school. It is about continuing to uphold civil rights despite race, creed, or religion. We must keep moving forward.

This made me so sad...This is reminiscent of stereotypical images of black people at the turn of the 20th century.

I am sad, because I thought this type of imagery was in the past. In Germany, symbols from the Nazi era are illegal. In the United States, freedom of speech protects racist imagery...This imagery should be illegal. We have a lot to learn from how Germany fought anti-semitism after World War II.

I appreciate my first lady who is such an example to me. She is an amazing example to all women around the world despite race, religion, socio-economic status, and age.